My Sweet Baby Bella
Yesterday 3.24.2022, you crossed over the rainbow bridge, to join your best friend Magnolia, and I lost a piece of my heart.
When I first met you in 2008, I knelt down to say hello and you reached your fluffy paws up towards my face (just like you always continued to do) and from that point on, I never stopped loving you, and I never will.
You were the most affectionate, sweet, snuggly, fluffy, vocal, and overbearingly loving cat I have ever met. You were with me with through some of the worst and best times of my life, my little therapy cat. When I was feeling sad or sick, or just needed some love, you would lay on me, in whatever awkward position you saw fit, and I let you, because you brought the greatest joy into my life. I will never forget that. I loved so deeply that you became fast friends with my Magnolia, and you were best friends for 8 amazing years, together, the two most amazing cats any one could dream of spending so many beautiful years with. What a lucky girl I am to have found you on Craiglist for free, even though they told me you were a girl, and I didn’t find out until 2 years ago, that you were in fact a fully neutered male cat. You were always full of surprises. My favorite thing about you, is how you touched so many lives. Every person that met you, fell in love, even turning several cat haters into forever cat lovers. You were magnetic and beautiful. You were kind, easy going, and always there when I needed you the most. You didn’t have a mean bone in your body, never hissing, or scratching, only licking and demanding to be picked up and held. I would hold you all day if I could.
These last 2 weeks have been some of the most difficult days for me, the days I have dreaded, as most pet owners do. Saying goodbye. We bring animals into our lives, knowing we will likely outlive them, and likely we will have to make this most difficult and final choice for them. The final gift of rest. One of the most heartbreaking gifts one can give. One given with love.
As I watched you slowly show signs of your age, you persevered. Despite being deaf and having a slew of ailments, you were resilient, and never faltered from your sweetness. Even between your recent seizures, you still offered what love you could. With all the medicine, and visits to the hospital, you still came back to yourself, in the best way you were able to. It hurt so much to watch you like that. It hurt like a weight of bricks on my chest, seeing you suffer, seeing your spark diminished by medicine, and I kept asking for more time, I kept hoping this wasn’t it, but I knew it was. I feel so lucky that my schedule allowed me to be home with you nearly all day, caring for you, and giving you comfort and every ounce of love. It weighed on me nearly every second, because I saw your light in there, and second guessed every possible way. But I knew it was selfish of me, to hold on, because it hurt too much to let you go, I knew it wasn’t fair to you. What you gave me, was the greatest gift of all, a companionship that was unmatched for 14 years, and I owed it to you, to give you this, even if it ripped out my heart. It certainly did.
I will miss every piece of you, your fluffy fur, your nighttime snuggles when you would plop into my arms, your stinky breath, and kisses, your whiskers that would tickle my face in the middle of the night. I will miss coming home and having you greet me with your little chirps. I’ll miss you ruining nearly every single self tape audition, and your drinking out of the toilet habit. I will even miss cleaning up your vomit, because somehow you never understood that dirt was not cat food, I would clean up after you forever.
Yesterday , I held you for the very last time, telling you how much I loved you, petting your beautiful fur. You were so calm. No seizures. Just my beautiful Bella. Snuggled up in my arms. I held you gently to tell you it was okay. I held you until your very last breath, as you quietly left us, without pain, without stress, leaving in peace, and taking a piece of my heart. I love you Mr. Fluff Mountain Bella. My heart.
In honor of my heart and Bella 3.24.2022
Thank you to all my family and friends who have been supportive through these final days, you have brought light in these dark times. And my fiancé for being the best cat dad to Bella and loving and supporting both of us the whole way.