I swear I write constantly. Backspace. Delete. Start over. But I never actually form a complete story to share.
I think thats actually an interesting thing to ponder, the fact that we spend so much time trying to curate the perfect whatever to present to whoever. Why does everything have to be a specific way to be "finished" or done? Who is to say something isn't done if it isn't perfect? I think we spend so much time striving for these unrealistic expectations that we will never be happy with what effort we put into our daily lives. I am often ashamed of my of internal struggle with seeking peace and understanding. I want to do this or that and I don't reach that goal due to maybe fear? Or just over whelming my schedule with trying to do so much. So sometimes I start something and I don't finish it. Sometimes I find that what I am doing is no longer serving a purpose. Maybe I procrastinate. But when I do something I do it 110% to my best abilities. Usually. I try to hold others to that same standard. Maybe its selfish of me, but I do want to surround myself with others who also strive for the same level of greatness. Not perfection, but honest work and self worth.
So LA.....
This last year and maybe 6 months I split my time between Nashville and Chicago. Driving one way at times up to 8 hours. To be in a city that I felt worthy. That I felt I was able to make a living in. It was a giant sacrifice that weighed on my spirit daily. To sit in a car, constantly, leaving your home, your boyfriend, cat, life, to go sleep somewhere else, live out of a suitcase, and never have a routine. Its impossible to actually take care of yourself physically and mentally when your life is regularly spent unpacking and repacking and trying to play catch up on your works out, healthy eating, mental health, and relationships. Let alone the money spent just commuting to be in your home city just to make money because where you live you can't make money doing what you love? Or are good at? What a drag. So February 2018 I said- I can't do this anymore. LA has to be the next step or I am kidding myself. So we planned- saved- planned some more. Finally in June picked a date. I said "End of Summer it has to happen or it won't." I was very lucky to book several back to back gigs from June- August that really made it possible. 2 weeks before our more, and a long week of emailing back and forth with the management company for our place, we landed our townhouse. Finally- all was coming together. Long story short- Made the some 39 hour drive after stops and traffic and arrived where the sun constantly shines and the hustle never stops. I felt inspired to write today because it was a great first month. As soon as we moved I flew back to Chicago for a week of back to back gigs, returned to LA, and immediately flew to NYC to work on a Fitness App project, and now that I am back in town I've already shot for 2 separate fitness/lifestyle related brands, gained a new E-Commerce client, and have some high hopes for my agency here. I know that living here will take extreme dedication. I've spent my entire career dedicating myself to being better, to being memorable, and most importantly authentic.
There are tons of pretty faces in the world, and at the end of the day if you are an unpleasant person, or don't have the drive that makes you stand out, you are just another person
. I am ready for the challenge, I am ready for the change. I am ready to prove to myself that I am bigger than who I was yesterday and I want to inspire others to not strive for perfection, but for honesty and being your best, most kind, warm, self. If there is anything in this world that is most important to me, its leading by example and pursing my own definition of success with an open heart. I hope you can find that as well. We are all in this journey together, so share your voice, and be you. <3
(Photo by: Jean Sweet Photography)